Welcome to Bethesda Radio

I am your host, Dave McFarlan, and my colleagues and I are hoping that you all are having a fine day.

For those who are not familiar with Bethesda Radio and its dealings, I have been asked to deliver a brief introduction to what we do, and how we function.

As many of you are aware, we at Bethesda Radio are your number one source for monster truck news. We deliver the most accurate, most revealing, and most interesting facts from the world of monster trucks. If you ever need any information regarding how those massive things work, then look no further, we will provide all the answers you need.

So, onto the news. As many of our older listeners will know by now, I am personally very interested in the upcoming Cleveland Rally, which will be presenting the worlds most famous and deadliest truckers from around the worlds, and no I am not being redundant. While the competitors arriving from Earth have a grand chance at winning, we cannot ignore the fantastic performances from worlds all across the galaxy.

However I must digress. There has been a recent development that has greatly sadden me and the monster truck community. One of Earths finest, Big Al Jackson, has recently been incapacitated in a freak accident during a practice run with his famous truck, and is therefore ineligible to compete in the Cleveland Rally. Being the informative radio casters we are, we are going to provide you with an unbiased and completely accurate view of what happened.

During his fourteenth practice run of his day, Jackson had forgotten to change the oil in his machine. Or more specifically, his somewhat inept group of mechanical walruses failed to change the oil in his machine, as Jackson had demanded as he took his hour long break to fabricate his tax reports. It was a grave act of misconduct, and caused the crash that so grieved the monster truck community.

After Jackson was recovered from the wreckage, it was discovered that he was alive, yet grievously injured. He had broken both of his collar bones, both of his arms, both of his legs, and one half of his tibia, which is part of some leg or arm, has been smashed to sixteen parts. It was also found that a knob of ginger had been embedded in his left toe cavity. It is unknown if this knob had any impact on the crash.

Let us please have a moment of silence in respect to Jacksons pain and troubles.



Now to more exciting news. A replacement for Jackson has already been procured. Notoriously sexy John Baine has agreed to take up the mantel and legacy left behind by Jackson and will compete in the Cleveland Rally. If it is seen that Baine proves most excellent, he may finally be able to receive his long deserved prefix "Big," making him only the thirteenth driver to receive such an honor.

We also conveniently have another spark of news regarding Baine. Baine's car, the imperceptibly queer Monster Five, has recently received an enormous upgrade from his mechanics, which breed from the same walruses in Jackson's group. The Monster Five received new components to its tires, paint, and suspensions.

Baine's tires have been replaced with Atlas grade, heavy endurance tires, which have the highest density grade that any tire can have. Baine's paint on his truck has been replaced with a high grade, camo-techno-mix, which ensures the best unhindered air flow. The suspensions have also finally been upgraded from the 2004 variant bagel buns to the more recent jelly hoops.

Onto other news, the weather is looking great for the Cleveland Rally. It is looking towards the high sixties to low seventies for the indoor event. Tickets for this event can be procured online from https://www.clevelandrally.wewillnotstealyourmoney.com.

I hope you enjoyed today's broadcast, please have a nice day.




















































































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